pedophiles, junkies, gang bangers...and bad drivers.

Well as you can see by the title of this post, I'm not real fond of bad drivers. "But Lance, don't you think that you're being a bit harsh comparing a pedophile to a bad driver?" First off sir, you should never start a sentence with the word "but", and secondly, no...no I do not. Today I followed this dumb ass on his cell phone on I-84. I couldn't pass him because he was constantly in the other lane. I see this shit ALL the time, and unless you are the one driving with your head up your ass, so do you. I just don't understand why people continue to operate vehicles at high speeds as a second priority to texting their douche bag friends about how so and so is fucking so and so's mom. BTW, call your mom, she is worried about you. It just blows my mind how many people drive like this. Car accidents are the number one cause of death in people under 50.
Maybe these ass-holes think that it can't happen to them. Even though anyone who has driven for any amount of time has likely seen someone covered in blood at an accident scene, or even wrapped in a shiny canvas body bag. I have. Its enough to convince me to do my part. So whats wrong with the rest of these pricks? It wouldn't be so bad if they all just crashed into a tree and killed themselves. That wouldn't bother me a bit. Its when some ass hole completely disrupts someone else's entire life because he dropped his i phone between the seat and thinks he has to find it in the next 10 seconds or he turns into a pumpkin, thus causing his vehicle to go god knows where at 70 mph. Words can't describe the hatred I have towards these people when I see them on the road. Just to be clear, I hate pedophiles even more than this. Quinten Tarentino couldn't think of a harsh enough punishment for a Chester Molester on his best day, and that guy is a creative sicko, but shit drivers are a close second. I digress. Call me old fashioned, but I just think if you are operating 2 tons or more of steel at high speeds, you should dedicate your undivided attention to where that mass of metal is pointed at all times. You don't really get so mad when you are by yourself in the car, but when someone runs a red light and I have my kid in the car on the side where the distracted sack of fecal material is traveling, it makes me sick. I'm not perfect, but at least I try to be. Honk relentlessly at these ass holes. Let everyone else on the road know when the butt plug in the jacked up ford doesn't signal because hes fucking special. Literally LIE DOWN on your horn when the numb nuts turns left on a blatantly red arrow and you have a green light, but have to wait for him. These are the douche nozzles that cause injury and death on the roads. Maybe they will get sick of being honked at. I dunno. God help the SOB that ever hurts my kid in an accident. He will leave the scene in an ambulance whether he got hurt in the crash or not. If its a female i plan on suing her for everything shes got. This is somewhat therapeutic, just writing this. I may not shoot the next idiot that cuts me off. I need a beer. Til next time...

I don't like the French...

I don't even like their food. I sure as hell don't like their "minister of cooperation" Alain Joyandet. WTF kind of position is that anyway "minister of cooperation". This pompus sack of hot air had the nerve to accuse the U.S. of invading Haiti. Hey asshole, 200,000 people are dead and 3 million don't have a pot to piss in, water to drink, or food to eat. Those are big numbers, and the aid needed in that country is incomprehensible. Not exactly the opportune moment for your anti-america bull shit drivel. The military can mobilize a releif effort a hell of a lot faster than the red cross, and on a scale that isn't even comparable. With out U.S. involvement in this disaster, thousands more people would surely have died.

The U.S.A. sent out troops to help another country back in the early to mid 40's, AND ITS THE FUCKING REASON YOU SPEAK FRENCH AND NOT GERMAN YOU CHEESE EATING SURRENDER MONKEY!

On a related note, Hugo Chavez also accused us of invading Haiti, but we already knew he was a prick. This is me being political. It doesn't happen often, but god damn it... I hate the French.